No matter how you get started self development is a very individual and personal journey. You may be very interested in mindset work and changing the way you think, what you do and how say things, You may be on a spiritual journey one of becoming more in touch with yourself healing parts of you that may need healing. Becoming more intuitive and more open to guidance. You may read books, do courses, listen to podcasts, go to workshops or retreats, join masterclasses the lists are endless and as I stated before each persons journey is a totally individual one. The thing is when you start to dive into self development you start to change. You start to see things differently, You hear things differently and you speak and react differently. Things about you change. You start to grow. Your perception shifts. Your reactions change.
This is great and it is a wonderful progression. Not always easy mind you but you may find that you tolerate negativity less and you really notice how much others gossip or are not nice to other people. And that is OK that they are that way because that is their journey.. YOU are going to find that there are friends, family or work colleagues that just don't get it. They don't get why you have CHANGED SO MUCH. They don't understand this new way you are showing up and a lot of the time the ones who have something to say about it are uncomfortable with it because it triggers something inside of them. See you need to realise, and if you are on a self development path you more than likely do, that every one has their own stories, their own patterns, beliefs and ways to cope. When you are coming up against someone that feels intimidated, or isn't happy with their life they project and usually it will be on to you. They won't be happy with you, they will tell you they don't like the way you are acting, they don't like the way you speak, "what happened to you?" You are so boring, because you no longer want to gossip or go out and get drunk all the time. The thing is this is your life and because others don't like it and may give you pressure or try to get you to do things that are no longer in alignment with you it doesn't mean you have to go along with them. The hardest thing about the self development is that you may out grow some of you friends. You may have to put boundaries on friendships and limits. You may need to cut ties. And this is so hard and so emotional and sometimes really necessary if you want to be happy. Having someone making you feel terrible about your choices or bringing down your energy is just no fun and that is why setting some boundaries for your relationships can help.
Ways that you can protect yourself:
You can protect your energy by placing a giant bubble around you. Imaging it surrounding you and filled with all you will ever need inside to keep you safe but dark energy or bad vibes just bounce right off. When people are judgmental or unkind you can imagine it just hitting the outer layer of your bubble and falling away.
Having a conversation with the person. Letting them know how you feel. And also setting some boundaries with them. Explaining what you feel and what you want or need from them.
Sometimes there is a place for these people and they may be just more limited. You may still want to spend time with them but you just make it times or situations that you feel you can properly protect your energy and vibes. Sometimes it comes to a point where it crumbles away so much that there is no space left for the toxicity and you just need to make peace (yes it is hard ) with it and try to move on best you can. In the long run it is a lot better for you to be surrounding yourself with those who lift you up. Who support you who are going to share good vibes with you.
This is a regular occurrence and one of the main things that seem to happen along the journey. Please don't feel as if you are alone in this. You can feel hurt, betrayed and feel upset but these people will more likely keep doing that to you over and over and over until they make a change. But that is not on you and they cannot do that unless they see it for themselves.
If you need to talk, join a group of like minded individuals that are following a similar path to you. I quite often post my worries, concerns, highlights in groups I feel very safe and supported in. There are a lot out there it is just a matter of finding what fits for you.
I hope this helps in some way shape or form. If you need someone to talk to about this further you can always get in contact with me and I will try to help the best way I possibly can.
Erin xx